This weekend, I had a table that left me feeling a little lost and a little hazy about my future. Three people decked out in SDSU apparel were sitting at one of my tables, when I walked over I couldn’t help but ask if the kid (it was mom, dad, and their son – assuming) had just gotten into SDSU. They laughed and said he was in his second year. When I mentioned I was in my last semester, the dad’s first question was are you interviewing? He couldn’t ask what major I was, if I knew what I wanted to do, if I was headed home or staying in San Diego (because most people assume students leave home for college, ha!), he could have asked me just about anything about college and he chose to ask me whether or not I’m interviewing? Interviewing for my future, interviewing for a career, interviewing, interviewing, interviewing.
I’m assuming most people in their last semester of college feel a little lost, maybe a little hazy. Or maybe some people actually have interviews or jobs lined up for themselves after college. Is it just me or do I need to get my shit together…by May?! May is right around the corner, I mean March is literally about to end, this year is going by faster than how fast I can binge watch the entire series of Gilmore Girls.
How am I supposed to find a job that has to do with what I want to be when I grow up? How old is grown up? I turn 25, a quarter-freaking-century, in August and I still truly don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. Typically, I tell people I want to be a guidance counselor. It’s an honest answer, I would love to be a guidance counselor. But there isn’t much room for job security, guidance counselors don’t have a lot of funding and they tend to be the ones that are let go first when it comes to government funding decreases. I love the idea of guiding people, whether in the high school or college aspect, in school and their thoughts on career moves – but how in the world can I help someone else when I can’t even figure that out for myself?
I wish there was a way I could incorporate every thing I love in life into a single career, or find a way to have a side hustle, or maybe just a general way to dabble into several things. If I lived in a perfect world I would find a way to be a guidance counselor, to repurpose pallets into signs and furniture, to write a novel or two, to work in interior design, to do something in social media (maybe some day this blog will actually take off), to do something in marketing, to do something I love. Oh and I should throw in wanting to get married and be a mom.
At this point there’s a position in the military as a public affairs specialist that’s lookin’ like a possibility 😅
Maybe I’ll just jump from career move to career move, spending a few years in each one, master it and then move on, or maybe I’ll marry rich and not have to worry about being financially stable and paying for health insurance. Maybe I’m over analyzing my future, again. Maybe the fear of loosing my comfort zone, loosing my structure, and slowly loosing my sanity is stressing me out about my future and I’m starting to become a neurotic mess, again.
At some point I’ll probably start hyperventilating in an advisors office about my future. Clearly, I need a beer.