- Oh my goodness, I’m starting this post off by saying that loving group of friends convinced me (rather easily) to join Bumble. Back when Tinder was the bees knees I met this one guy, totally fell for him, and got my heart broken – and then promptly never used Tinder again. But with being the only single girl in my group of English major friends, I jumped on over to Bumble think what the heck, what’s the worse that can happen? Boy did I learn so much about myself in just one week of being on Bumble.
I’m not only judging these guys on pictures and bios but I’m totally judging myself! If a guy has the majority of topless gym pictures, bye; if he’s holding a drink in all of them, adios; if he’s a skydiver he’s probably gone because I don’t like the idea of plummeting to my death; solely looking for a hook up, bye Felicia 🙋🏽.
After a few matches, I realized I have no game. I can’t come up with ice breakers to save my life. I try witty stuff referring to their bio’s or pictures (i.e. one guy said something like “I do not consume sea creatures of any kind” so I sent “will my love for tuna salad come between us,” thinking that was cute and witty but I never got a response). And when I brought this up to my group of friends we couldn’t really get a solid idea of what to say together; theres three girls (including myself) and one boy – the girls, as usual, were over thinking the whole ice breaker concept whereas the boy said to literally just say hi, or send an emoji. How freaking easy and simple is it to just say hi?!
Well let me tell you, I’ve gotten far more responses to a “Hi :)” than a wanna-be-witty ice breaker.
Once I started getting the hang of just saying hi and realizing I totally have a type; I finally gave my number out to a guy who I had been talking to all day about sports and music. Turns out, the first thing he asked for were nudes. Boy, BYE 🙋🏽 🙋🏽 🙋🏽 That conversation quickly ended, was unfriended, and ignored. After that I changed up my bio to try and weed out the one-night standers and the nude searching douche canoes.
Here’s my bio: I’m Lina! I don’t normally chase after boys but if you can enjoy a beer or 7, can tolerate my love for that’s what he said jokes, isn’t in for a one time thing, likes to cuddle, and by “let’s chill” you mean you’re buying me dinner.. then this bitch wouldn’t just power walk, she’d sprint
Sorry for any offense with the cursing, I genuinely have the mouth of a sailor and I’m working on not being so blunt. But since it originally said “I’m Lina! I don’t normally chase after boys but if your at least 6ft, got nice muscles, can enjoy a glass of wine or 7, likes to cuddle, and by “let’s chill” you mean you’re buying me dinner.. then this bitch wouldn’t just power walk, she’d sprint.” Switching out some of the physical limitations and adding in the “isn’t in for a one time thing” has actually brought down my number of matches but increased my number of conversations – thankfully I haven’t gotten anymore requests for nudes.
Since the change up, I’ve had conversations about religion, more about sports and fishing, school, dinner, and even planned out a breakfast date – but that fell through.
While I’m on bumble as somewhat of a joke, I’m not totally opposed to the possibility of something coming out of this. Something I realized the majority of my matches had in common was their job title. They range from firefighters to military, cops to environmental consultants. It took me a bit by surprise since I didn’t think I had much of an actual type when it came to guys, but the more my neurotic tendencies took over I realized I’m looking for a guy who is nothing like my dad – that sounds so bad. I love my dad, I wouldn’t trade him for the world.
But growing up with a dad who has social anxieties and is a nervous nelly (as his sisters call him), made me hope to find a guy that isn’t afraid of the world. I want a guy that will push me out of my own anxieties, that will encourage me to pursue everything I want in life, and not shy away from the world.
Guys that have these sort of public-interaction jobs are the opposite of my night-custodian dad. Those are jobs where you’re forced to interact with people all day, you’re forced to be in the public eye, handle conflicts, and over all not be allowed to be afraid of the world.
Friday I’m meeting a guy that is a Bombs and Missle Officer in the Navy. My dad could never do that – that sounds like a lot of pressure come a world crisis. But this guys job title also lets me see him as a leader, responsible, and probably works well under pressure. He’s contracted for four years, whereas my dad (before I was born) jumped from one job to another: he was a cop in Oakland for a little while, he worked as an x-ray technician, became a US Coast Guard Auxiliary member; but evidently they we’re all too much for him.
Now I’m totally not assuming anything will come from the Navy guy. With my luck, we’ll plan something and then never follow through or we’ll meet up a few times, I’ll get attached and then he’ll ghost me. NBD considering where we met (not sure why I have such a sour taste in my mouth about dating apps considering one of my best friends is marrying her Tinder match next month!) but in my first week on Bumble, I learned more than what I presumed a joke would teach me.